EYES.
yeah.
sooooo i have no idea to start this so it will sound like some random babling.
this line kept playing in my head:
"your eyes always seem like you're anticipating something and it's really cool"
yes, E said that.
haha
i have no idea why the line kept playing in my head??
really.
i don't blame E for whatever that has happened cos it wasnt his fault.
so yeah i thought they were the friends the friends that are true. maybe i'm wrong.
even one of them says :' you are in a long term contract with us'
hmmmmmm. i know they care.
but leaving me out in something, something involving death.
something involving one of my best friend's downfall.
yes his grandma died.
they told me she was hospitallised in tts with critical condition.
yes i visited her.
but i wasn't myself that day. was freaking jealous.
yeah i wanted to visit her the next day but yeah it was AYD.
but what they didn't tell me that his grandma passed away on this day.
they didn't.
but E was like having random breakdowns and stuffs and he grew very quiet,
very quiet.
i thought it was normal so i didn't care especially when he keep joking
and laughing.
i thought he was perfectly fine.
but i found out the next day before the clock strike 12AM.
J asked how the hell i'm going home
and i said that i follow them home or smthg.
and J was like we are going for E's grandma's wake.
seriously, a bile formed in my throat.
i held back my tears.
and told my dad.
sent my condolences to E.
and he said that he's fine and you know those normal stuffs with god bless you behind.
yeah. i don't blame E.
so the next day in mass.
met Ju there.
and i told him bout the wake thingy.
yes he is another super left out one.
at least i have the heart to update him.
than just yesterday Ju texted me saying:
hey why didn't i see you at the cremation today?
you would have guessed what i have felt.
they don't feel my existence at all.
i don't know whether i should ever trust them.
i wonder whether they still treat me as a part of them.
for those people who cared, thanks.
i hope there are many ppl like you.